#RHONJ Season 5 Dojo Dummy

Reblogged from Reality Chopped:

Be sure to follow the brilliant artist of this most amusing gif > @MickeyMouth1

The Charade That is Teresa Giudice: A Historical Perspective

Don’t laugh…yet, I’m trying to be serious here!  For the moment at least.  I want to use this opportunity to take us back to the moment we were first introduced to Teresa Giudice; it was May 12, 2009.  The opening “fluff” line for Teresa was, ” People make fun of Jersey girls, but I think their just jealous.”  That word, “jealous,” is going to be a word used often by Teresa over the next 4 years, you could make a case that it’s been abused by Teresa….oh wait, I’ll make that case in this blog!

 Before we get into the weeds, I’m going to present you the definitions of three words that will play a role in this piece later.  Those words are; Pretentious, Sociopath, and Narcissist.

 1. Pretentious:  making usually unjustified or excessive claims (as of value or standing)

 2. Sociopath:  a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is anti-social, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

 3. Narcissist:  A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

 Now, back to that fateful Spring day in 2009, when we first fell under the spell of Teresa Guidice, yes, I know you may find this hard to believe now, but she had me wrapped around her little eye-Talian pinky finger back then.  I was a sucker, but I wasn’t a Kool-Aid drinker, oops…. sorry… a Fabulini drinker!

 In the very first 2 minutes of the series premiere, we see a very flat chested Teresa Giudice shopping for swimsuits with Caroline and Dina Manzo.  During this little shopping spree, the conversation revolves around Tre’s “bubbies” and that she is considering getting breast implants…. Tre says, and I quote, “I’m not fake. I don’t try to be someone I’m not.”  (Typing that made me L.O.L.) Three Minutes into the show we see Tre and Jac furniture shopping for Tre’s “NEW” home.  She spends $120,360, which took care of 3 rooms.  We are led to believe that she paid for all of it in cash, she said, “I hear the economy is crashing, so that’s why I pay cash.”  We are then introduced to her “new” McMansion, Chateau De Joo Dice.  I was repulsed and in awe of this home at the same time. It was as if the Jolly Green Giant had consumed massive amounts of granite, onyx, marble, gold lief, and crystals then proceeded to take a gigantic shit on this plot of land in The New Jerusalem.   Teresa explains to us that she couldn’t stand looking at used homes because she just “skeeves looking at other people’s used houses.”   Tre emphasizes this point even further by saying, “I don’t want to live in someone else’s house, that’s just gross.”   We see Joe Giudice, her husband, working in the house.  It’s only been 4 years, but Joe looks about 15 years younger then….  My, what a toll this show has taken on him…… Later, at the reunion, when Andy asked Teresa about paying cash for everything, she tells us, the viewers, that she and her husband don’t believe in credit or debt and that they pay everything in cash.

 Let’s fast forward to Sunday September 30, 2012.  We now know that Teresa didn’t pay cash for her furniture, she just made a deposit.  We know that her house wasn’t new; it was in fact, a remodel.  We also know that she and her husband are 11 million dollars in debt.  She and her husband also attempted to file for bankruptcy to avoid paying the debt they had created with their opulent lifestyle.  That bankruptcy proceeding was found to be riddled with fraud and perjury.  We know that her husband likes to drink and drive, a crime that kills….. Not just injures, but kills an average of 10,000 people a year in the United States.  We also know that much of the income they make comes from rental properties they own, and we found out that they shut off the utilities at an apartment building they owned in the middle of the winter, they also installed faulty equipment in this building that created dangerous levels of carbon monoxide… levels that were deadly.  Not only did they try to freeze their renters to death, they almost poisoned them to death!   Tre huggers will try to absolve Teresa from responsibility, blaming it on her husband, but Tre spent that rent money they were getting every month to maintain her “fabuliciousness.”

 I left out the part about when her spell began to wear off on me… That happened toward the end of season 2.  Her robotic like viciousness directed at Danielle rubbed me the wrong way.  Officially, my opinion changed at the season 2 reunion.  Andy asked her if she was responsible for the fight with Danielle, at the infamous Posche Fashion Show,  Teresa looked shocked, denied any responsibility…. it was all Daniel’s fault in her little brain.  The shine and the glitter were gone……. I realized, we the viewers, were dealing with either a mild sociopath, or a mild narcissist, little did I know how serious her personality disorder was at that moment.

 Back to the present.  Teresa is now embroiled in a new controversy… a controversy that she is 100% responsible for… the attempted set up of her sister-in-law, Melissa Gorga.  I’m not even going to get into the details of this, at this point; anyone who believes otherwise is drunk on fabulini.  Teresa, like always, denies everything and is floating theories in every direction, so convoluted, that she is beginning to sound absolutely insane.  Once again, it’s everyone else’s fault… not Saint Teresa!

 So what’s up with Tre? What happened to that Jersey girl we all loved and “were jealous” of?  The answer… Nothing happened to her… she’s the same person… but the smoke and mirrors are now gone… we see her for who she was and is… the real Teresa Giudice.  Her character flaws aren’t normal…it’s not that she is just pretentious. It’s not that she doesn’t wash her hands after peeing, or that she tells a little fib from time to time….It’s not that she embellishes the truth just a tad to paint herself in a better light ….Teresa Giudice’s character flaws are of epic proportion.  Her entire life is a complete charade, an 11 million dollar charade.  It’s not that she just spends too much money, money that she doesn’t have…. It’s how she and her husband have attempted to enrich their lives while endangering the lives of others.  It’s how she has zero ability to recognize her wrong doing, and zero ability to acknowledge what is written in black and white, and documented on national television.   She has the audacity to tell us to not believe our eyes or our ears, “everything is fine, we did nothing wrong, everyone is just JEALOUS of us,  We’re just like everyone else in the country who are struggling in this economy, She tries to copy me, It was just a joke,  I write my own blogs even though I don’t know the meaning of the words I use in my blogs or how to spell them, I didn’t set anyone up, they tried to set me up, I don’t know him, I don’t know her, those photos of us partying together mean nothing, how dare Anderson Cooper try to reason with me and get me to accept responsibility for my actions…(one more time) Everyone’s just jealous of me.”

 I’m not convinced that Teresa Giudice is a sociopath… It’s obvious that she is a clinical narcissist.  (Here’s a link explaining how to recognize a narcissist http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/howto.html ) Is she a bad person? I guess that depends….the people she owes money to; the people she tried to set up, the people she and her husband left in the cold and almost poisoned would probably say “Yes, she’s a bad person!”  The people who have a detachment from reality, and who view her as a victim or the underdog all see a halo around her head…. I guess drinking all that fabulini causes one to hallucinate.  Now let me verbally slap them back into reality… Underdogs don’t have the ability to rack up 11 million dollars in debt and then try to get away without paying it…. Victims aren’t landlords who shut off the utilities of, and almost poison, lower-income folks in the middle of winter….. Put down the fabulini, turn off the Television… take a walk, read a book, get out in the sunshine and stop putting reality stars on the altar next to Jeebus H. Keerist.

 As Susan Powter would say… Stop The Fucking Insanity!

When you break it all down… What’s the difference Between Teresa Giudice and Taylor Armstrong?  Really, what’s the difference? They both hate puppies (unless there’s a camera around)  They both gleefully participated in the bankrupting of their families.  They are both overly obsessed with appearances.  Both of their husbands have not been able to deal with the spotlight, or their financial collapse… Taylor’s husband to the point of suicide, Teresa’s husband to the point of spiraling out of control to the point he endangers the lives of others and himself, and who is most likely going to end up in prison for a year…. So again, what’s the difference between them? Nothing that I can think of…. oh wait, yes,… there is one thing…. the lips.

Update: this is a link to the bankruptcy court records and findings. 

http://www.jacksonvillebankruptcylawyerblog.com/housewifeadversarycomplaint.pdf

The Code of Conduct According to Kim DePaola

For over a century women in the United States have been fighting for equality.  Not special rights, not gender specific laws..but equality.  Women who want equality on one hand, and then use archaic gender specific codes of conduct as a means of defending their poor behavior on the other hand are the very women who set the equality movement back 60 years.

That brings me to Kim DePaola , otherwise known as Kim D.  Kim D is a sidekick on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Discussing women’s equality and Real Housewives is at first thought, laughable, but please bear with me… I’m going to do it, and it’s going to make sense…. cross my heart.

Teresa Giudice and Kim DePaola , notice the “EQ” on their cheeks, that stands for “equality”

For those of you smart people who don’t watch Real Housewives of New Jersey (I’m not one of you), let me fill you in on the latest happenings among this cast of characters on the show, and in the twittersphere.  Teresa Giudice and Kim DePaola were apart of an elaborate conspiracy to set up, humiliate, and intimidate Melissa Gorga.  Every year for the past 3 years, Kim D has put on a huge “fashion show” featuring items from her financially struggling, shoe boxed sized store called “Posche,”  in the fashion mecca of New Jersey.  Every year there is a traumatic side-show that takes place.  This year , after having a small tiff that we didn’t see on the show, Kim D invited Melissa Gorga to her show, as she did all the wives.  Kim D “apologized” to Melissa to get her to the show, Melissa graciously accepted her “apology” and enthusiastically attended her show.  Melissa wasn’t aware of the devious goings on with Kim D, and her sister-in-law Teresa Giudice, earlier in the day. It all unfolded that night at the show, and the roles people played in this conspiracy were made crystal clear.

Now let me fast forward… Melissa called her husband, Joe Gorga, to the scene of the crime… a heated exchange took place between Joe Gorga, and Kim D.  Today Kim D. tweeted this…. (see images below)

 

In Kim D’s world , she believes that she has the right to say, do, and behave in any way she chooses without any reciprocity from the parties she is doing this to.  Her behavior is barbaric, and in her defense she throws out that “men must follow a certain code of conduct,” then she has the audacity to imply that the response to her conduct is “violent.”  If that’s the case, then her actions that created this drama, and escalated it were also “violent.”

Laws in our society are not gender specific for a reason, because everyone is capable of imposing harm, and everyone is susceptible to harm, regardless of gender.  No one in our country can legally slap or punch anyone, unless of course, they have been slapped, or punched first, but anyone can yell at anyone, argue with anyone, or say what ever they wish to someone legally, and they are morally justified in doing so in defense of themselves, or their loved ones.

If you follow Kim D’s mentality, women aren’t equal to men… women can’t join the military, police force, or fire department, because in Kim D’s mind, women are not capable of dealing with the conflicts that might arise in those situations…if you follow her line of thought even further, women can’t be President of The United States or lead in any capacity, because their menstrual cycle and delicate nature prevents them from being able to stand up to a man equally.

Do I actually believe that Kim D thinks this way? No. I believe she is a narcissist, and wants to apply “codes” and rules to others that she herself doesn’t follow.  She wants to be able to plot, intimidate, scream, throws drinks, and slap others, without any reciprocity.

She, in her own words, “Rolls with the big boys,”  but when the big boys roll back at her…she screams “I’m a woman, you can’t do that!” …. You know what Kim D…you are not June Cleaver,  you are a cunt, and a cunt gets back exactly what they put out…. and you put out …. a lot,  from what I hear.

 

 

My Unsolicited Public Relations Advice For Teresa Giudice

Navigating your way through life is often difficult.  Navigating your way through life under the scrutiny of the media, and millions of viewers is almost impossible; key word “almost.”  If you are fortunate enough to have a strong constitution, and qualified Public Relations Specialists helping you, then it is very possible.

A qualified, Accredited Public Relations Specialist can always make sweet, desirable lemonade out of the most rotten of lemons, but that lemon must  willingly, and enthusiastically adhere to the strategy the APRS puts in place. (I’m not implying that Teresa is a rotten lemon by the way, just emphasizing what an Accredited Public Relations Specialist can do)

This brings me to Teresa Giudice, and the maelstrom she currently finds herself in.  Is it all her fault?  Nope.  Is much of it her fault?  Yes.  Maybe  ”fault” is a strong word…..let’s replace is with “responsibility.”  All of us are often responsible for the negative things that happen in our lives, some call it karma, I just call it the consequences of our actions…I really don’t believe in Karma, because good things happen to terrible people, and terrible things happen to good people… but most of the “drama” in our lives is our responsibility.  We choose to engage or not engage, we choose to put ourselves on a reality show (if asked) or we choose not to.  What’s most important in this scenario is that we control our actions when, and if,  we choose to join the cast of a reality show, especially when we know that “Drama” is what makes for ratings, and drama is what entertains most viewers.

Before I start to ramble on way too much for even someone with the most disciplined attention span.. let me get to the main point.  Teresa has had terrible people advising her;  That is her responsibility, she may have taken this advice naively and put her trust in the wrong people, but she did allow them into her life.  What ever has happened up to this point, it’s time for someone who cares about her to shake her and say “Tre… get rid of all of these parasites, and hire some fucking professionals…. that don’t reside in New Jersey!”

How does one find trustworthy people to help them navigate these difficult situations?

1.  Make sure they are accredited!  In public relations they will use the acronym “APR” …. essentially it means they are board certified, have significant  years of experience, an appropriate education, and that their work has proven results.

2. Google!  A good publicist shouldn’t get much press, if any press at all… a good publicist never puts themselves in front of the camera …they make sure their clients are in front of the camera.  A good publicist should always be way in the background, unseen, and unheard by the public …..When a major corporation is dealing with a crisis… a good public relations specialist will handle that crisis without anyone realizing a PR person was behind it….they don’t leave finger prints, and they never brag about their work ,or clients…ever!  A good publicist will bring an effective team together, legal, marketing, hell, even  hair and make up… they will make sure that no one on that team has a desire to be famous and that they keep everything confidential.

Once one has found an APRS, now it’s time to listen, and do everything they tell you to do…. Suck it up… throw your pride out the window, and realize the most important character trait ,when dealing with a crisis, or damage control, is being contrite.  ( contrite : feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming <a contrite criminal> <a contrite apology>) It doesn’t matter how right you think you are, or how wronged by others you may feel…. Until you own exactly what you have done, and the actions you chose to take, no one is going to buy what you are selling, unless they are “true believers” … and you have to convey contrition when you do it…saying it isn’t good enough… We, the viewers,  have to feel it from you, not just hear it.

Some will say, “oh that’s being fake!”… those are exactly the people you shouldn’t listen to…. Teresa is no longer just on a reality show… she has a business  to build, kids she has to feed, and millions of dollars of debt she has to pay …… the only way she is going to be able to accomplish all of this is by appealing to a broad spectrum of consumers, consumers that have never watched the show.   Teresa actually needs to stop thinking about the show, and it’s fans, and start thinking about the big picture… let’s face  it, there aren’t enough “true believers” to sustain these business ventures ..one person is only going to buy so many cookbooks, and no one at your local wine enthusiasts club is talking about Fabalini.  Teresa’s products, all of them, are currently attached to her persona on the show… She’s not Bethenny, who spent years developing a product and an idea, who joined the show in hopes of getting that product out there to all of the consumers,  Teresa’s products are an after thought… they came into being because of the show, and because of her financial situation…. that’s not an insult…. I admire her hustle… It’s time for her to think “Big Picture” …..unfortunately she’s in the picture and can’t see it right now… that’s why she needs to hire someone qualified who can see the big picture for her.

That’s my two cents.

The Queenz of Media Are Back! Featuring Melissa Gorga & Frenchie Davis

Skylar and Grace are thrilled to announce a very special episode of The Queenz of Media with guests; Melissa Gorga, and  Frenchie Davis!

Melissa Gorga & Frenchie Davis

When: Thursday September 13, 2012

Where: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/queenz_of_media/2012/09/13/the-queenz-of-media-with-melissa-gorga-and-frenchie-davis

(we will have a live chat room open at the link above, you will need to register with blogtalkradio.com in advance to be able to chat during the live show)

Time: 7 p.m. EST.

Melissa Gorga 

Melissa Gorga, the newest star of Bravo’s hit show the Real Housewives of New Jersey is a sassy Italian who is known for her witty, fun, and loving personality. Melissa was born to be a mommy. She is a dedicated mother and wife whose life is all about her family. She and her husband Joe, a successful real estate developer, have been married for eight years and have three beautiful children, Antonia, seven, Gino, five, and Joey, two.

Melissa has turned her dream of becoming a recording artist into a reality. Working with some of the top music producers in the industry, Melissa released her debut single “On Display” in August 2011, which immediately reached the top 10 on the iTunes dance charts. During her second season on the show, Melissa released two singles; an up-tempo dance track “Rockstar” and a ballade she wrote for her husband “How Many Times” which reached the top 5 on the iTunes R&B chart, selling over 10,000 copies in the first week. Her newest track “I Just Wanna” features up and coming New Jersey hip hop producer Santino Noir and is already getting rave reviews since it debuted on September 9th. The star will release her first music video for the dance track in the coming weeks with an EP planned for 2013.

In the short time since joining the RHONJ cast, she has been featured in magazines such as US Weekly, People, Glamour, Life & Style and has appeared on shows including GMA, The Today Show, Live with Kelly, Wendy Williams, Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, E! News, Extra and On Air with Ryan Seacrest. Melissa is also the newest celebrity ambassador along with music superstars Pitbull and Fergie for Voli Light Vodka, the world’s first low-calorie vodka.

For more information, visit http://melissagorga.co or follow her on Twitter @MelissaGorga.

Frenchie Davis

The story of Frenchie Davis is one of greatness threaded with many details. Though hard to summarize, the short version would be…

Songbird Frenchie Davis was born in Washington, D.C. and raised in Los Angeles, CA where she started her musical journey performing in plays throughout her school years, eventually deciding to audition for the second season of the groundbreaking FOX show American Idol. Her success on the show launched the Howard University alum’s rise to fame rather quickly and she has been progressing ever since. Frenchie moved on to join the Broadway cast of the hit show Rent and played the role of Effie White in Dream Girls, leading to four wonderful years on Broadway, eventually becoming a Grammy nominated artist for her involvement in the revival of Ain’t Misbehavin.

Recently, the singing starlet joined Team Christina on NBC’s hit show The Voice, becoming one of the Top Four Finalists. Her cover of “When Love Takes Over” landed at #3 on the iTunes Dance Chart, launching her undeniable talent into the national spotlight yet again. Frenchie has now ventured out and established her own label Frenchie Davis Music Group, building a team of people, including her manager Tiffany J. and executive assistant Nyree Neil, to hit the road at high-speed.

She teamed up with international singer/songwriter Janice Robinson (Ashley Tisdale, Deborah Cox) to record her first smash single “Love’s Got A Hold of Me,” produced by rising star Marco Borrero. The song will be featured on Frenchie’s upcoming debut “Just Frenche” LP. An epic Mad Max style video directed by Ch’an Andre and Brian Friedman (Britney Spears) will accompany the incredible single that will drop in September. The songbird also plans to release a solo Christmas album and is in talks to develop a plus-size lingerie line.

Frenchie’s Debut Music Video “Love’s Got A Hold On Me” 

With a career most people only dream about, a loyal fan base that increases every day, and a passionate love for life, Frenchie is a beacon of positivity wherever she goes. “I want to live my life to inspire people to be brave and courageous,” says Frenchie, “to believe in themselves and never take no for answer.”

You can follow Frenchie Davis on twitter @frenchiedavis 

Real Housewives of New Jersey Source: Teresa Giudice Loves The Word ‘Cunt’ As Much As I Do!

My Real Housewives of New Jersey source just informed me that the episode being shown this week,  is actually out of sequence. It was filmed after the Posche Fashion Show, but apparently it’s being done this way for a reason…I should have asked what that reason was, huh?

Anychoo, on this week’s episode Saint Teresa calls Jacqueline a Cunt… yes i said Cunt…. The word that seems to offend all Tre Huggers (thanks @imajustsaying) unless of course, Saint Teresa says it. We will also see Joe (headed to the clink) Giudice tell his Saintly wife that Chris Laurita told him that “when he met Jac, she was a stripper.” *gasps* Joe Giudice , gossiping? Say it ain’t so!

I was also informed that Filming for season 5 begins VERY SOON, I actually know the date, but was told I can’t share it because the wives will be informed this weekend at the reunion. …but again… “very soon.”  Bravo plans on filming the entire legal drama effecting the Gee Douche ehs!

As for the pending Joe Giudice trial, the prosecutor has subpoenaed all the footage from Bravo… they have been made aware that there is footage of Joe driving when he wasn’t supposed to be…tisk tisk tisk….The prosecutor is so annoyed at the contempt displayed by them that he is considering going for the whole enchilada of Ten years, no plea bargain, no way, no how…but that may just be posturing by the prosecutor to get him to accept 5 years.

 

Real Housewives Super Bowl Showdown: And The Winner Is…..

Lisa Vanderpump

After 2 weeks of voting Lisa Vanderpump has won a landslide victory with 38% of the vote.  Second Place goes to Bethenny Frankel with 23% , Third Place goes to Grentchen Rossi with 20% , Fourth Place goes to Teresa Giudice with 17%, and last & least , Fifth Place goes to Nene Leakes with 2%!

See Poll Results below by clicking “view results”